Sleep routines and dad's night duty
Understanding the way your baby's sleep patterns work will help you to tune into her needs, particularly at night.
Your baby's sleep needs
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She'll spend 50-80 per cent of the time in light sleep, when she wakes very easily. Her sleep cycle - light, deep, light - is shorter than an adult's, and she's vulnerable to waking each time she passes from one sleep state to another. Your baby isn't waking to spite you. She's programmed to wake up for all kinds of reasons - when she's wet, hot, cold, unwell - because her survival depends on it.
Having a sleep routine
Your baby has to be deeply asleep before she'll settle so try a soothing sleep routine - gentle rocking, quiet songs, and talking softly. When she first falls asleep, lay her down and gently pat her shoulder at about 60 beats a minute for a few minutes. She's deeply asleep when her eyelids don't twitch and her limbs feel limp.
Time together with dad
If you're back at work and you find your baby's usually asleep by the time you get home, ask your partner if she can nap more in the afternoon so that she's awake when you arrive. This might not work so don't blame your partner. Instead, try getting up earlier to spend time with your baby before work.
Night duty
| What to do | How it can help |
|---|---|
| Prepare yourselves for broken nights | Many babies continue to wake once or twice during the night well beyond 12 months. If you’re both prepared for this, you’ll find it easier to cope. |
| Share the burden | Take turns to get up when your baby wakes. You may both be back at work or one of you may be staying at home while the other goes out to work, but remember that looking after a baby is also a full-time job. |
| Adjust your sleep pattern | Broken nights are not necessarily sleepless nights. By adjusting to a new sleep pattern, you’ll find that you’re able to wake, attend to your baby, and then go back to sleep immediately. |
| Keep your baby close | Have your baby’s cot by the side of your bed so you don’t have to disturb yourselves too much when she wakes for a feed. Put her back in her cot when you’re ready to go back to sleep. |
| Stay together | Sleeping apart so only one of you is disturbed may seem a tempting solution, but it could undermine your relationship with each other and with your baby. Keep this as a last resort – if one of you is ill or particularly tired. |
| Avoid sleep deprivation | Long-term sleep deprivation can affect your health. It’s better for you both to lose some sleep than for one of you to take all the burden and become completely exhausted. |
Posted 16.11.2010
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