Partner's role at the birth
By this second stage of labour, your role in providing loving support for your partner will be well established. You've now passed through the most painful phase and have reached the climactic stage of delivery.
Second stage jobs
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You'll need to continue doing many of the jobs you did during the first stage - making your partner comfortable, supporting her in different positions, providing drinks and sweets, and giving moral support. But you'll also now have to encourage her to push. All this will make the mother's job easier and help her feel emotionally secure and relaxed.
In the unlikely event of a medical emergency, staff have to move quickly and you might be in the way, so be sensitive to any situation that arises. You probably won't be asked to leave the delivery room, but be prepared to do so if necessary.
Partner's help with the delivery position
Now your partner has been through the first stage of labour, she'll probably know which position she finds most comfortable. Your support is very important to help her through the pushing stage, but always ask the midwife's advice if you're not certain what to do. If your partner doesn't want to be held, suggest other positions that she might find comfortable, and place pillows or cushions under and behind her for support. It's a good idea to practise different ways of sitting or squatting before labour so that you're both familiar with them; if you feel unsure or uncomfortable about what you're doing it can make your partner nervous.
If your partner is happy sitting on the bed or on the floor, she might like to try the knee-chest position, which many women find comfortable in the second stage. For this, she should drop her chin on to her chest while holding on to her knees. Between contractions, suggest that she relaxes against the pillow to conserve her energy.
Encouraging her to relax
Between contractions, help your partner to relax as she needs to save her strength for pushing her baby through the birth canal. Massage her back if she has backache or needs comforting and reassuring. If she's hot and bothered, mop her brow with a cool flannel or spray her face with a water spray.
Standing by during birth
Once your baby's head has crowned, your role may become more passive for a while as you watch the midwife guiding your partner through this pushing stage. Don't be disappointed if your partner doesn't take any notice of you during the birth and relies more on the midwife. She'll be fully preoccupied and involved with what's happening.
Showing your partner the baby
When your baby's head is emerging, hold a mirror nearby so that your partner can see his head crowning and then his whole body slithering out. Help her to reach down and touch your baby's head as he is born.
Loving reception
Ask the midwife if you can catch your baby in your arms as his body emerges. After you've greeted your baby for the first time, place him on your partner's stomach, and then cuddle them both. You and your partner will have a range of reactions - relief, tears, awed silence, exhausted collapse, whoops of joy. You may even feel squeamish at the sight of his bloodied, greasy, tiny body. Whatever your feelings, this moment marks a new phase in your family's history.
Pictures of your baby's birth
- Before labour begins, check with your midwife and doctor that they're happy for you to take pictures.
- If you want to take more than a few photos, or if you want to video the event, it may be better to ask a friend or relative to do it for you. Your partner will need you to be sensitive to her every need, not rushing around clicking the camera or focusing on the best image. You risk alienating yourself from her and the doctor and midwife, if you're constantly behind a lens.
- Your partner will want soft, dim lighting in the delivery room to help her feel relaxed, so take account of this when assembling your camera equipment. Also, many hospitals don't like you to use direct flash as it can be irritating for the mother, distracting for the midwife, and damaging for your baby's eyes.
Posted 16.11.2010
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