Using donors
Many childless people have been helped to become parents by using sperm, eggs, and even embryos given by other people. Surrogacy is also a form of donation - a woman donates her uterus to bear another couple's biological child. Emotional costs can be high, and all the issues need to be talked about openly. Clinics provide counselling for couples thinking of using donors.
Donor insemination
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The use of donor sperm can be an option in the following situations: when the male partner is sterile or has a very low sperm count that doesn't respond to treatment; when either partner carries a hereditary abnormality; or when a mature, stable, single woman wants a child but not a partner.
Donor insemination (DI) can seem an ideal solution for people in these situations, but there are a number of points that need careful thought. First, the feelings of your partner - some men feel inadequate or even jealous of donors who impregnate their partners. These feelings can affect your life together, and your child once she is born. In addition, some women are repelled by the way they are going to conceive or by the fact that a different man's sperm is used at each visit.
Most couples feel hesitant about this method of conception and it's very stressful, so good counselling is important. You can insist that there's no mention of DI in your maternity records, and yours and your partner's names can be given on the birth certificate. In the past donors were anonymous, but since 2005, children conceived in this way have the right to find out their parent's identity when they reach 18 if they so wish. This applies only to children born after the new ruling came into force and the changes are explained to all potential donors. As before, donors have no legal or financial responsibility and cannot be forced to meet a child.
Egg donation
If a woman is unable to produce an egg herself, donor eggs may be used during IVF treatment. Egg donation does have the advantage that both of you are involved: your partner fertilizes the egg, and you will carry and give birth to the baby. However, it's more complicated than sperm donation - hormonal drugs have to be taken and the eggs collected by surgical techniques (see The Typical Pattern of an IVF Treatment) - so donor eggs are hard to come by. The main sources are relatives, unrelated donors (who, like sperm donors, no longer have the right to anonymity), and IVF patients who may donate extra eggs produced during their treatment.
There can be problems with egg donation. For example, eggs donated by IVF mothers have an increased risk of chromosomal disorders because IVF patients tend to be older than average, but donations are not accepted from women over 35. When relatives or friends donate eggs there can be tensions later.
If you're not producing eggs, you probably won't be menstruating, and this means that the lining of your uterus (endometrium) will be thin and incapable of nourishing a developing embryo. You'll need to be given drugs to stimulate it to thicken so that the embryo can implant.
Embryo donation
A couple who have been through IVF treatment may sometimes wish to donate unused frozen embryos to a childless woman. The embryo is implanted and the woman gives birth to the “adopted” child. Feelings run high on this and many sensitive issues have been raised. For example, how would the donor parents feel if their own child, or children, die? And what are the chances of the siblings meeting and perhaps having children together?
Posted 16.11.2010
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