Newly pregnant, yet feeling unhappy?

You’ve recently found out you’re pregnant and are filled with happiness and pride. Yet sometimes you're feel overcome and unhappy… Anxious and extremely emotional, you’re constantly on the verge of tears. No worries, most expectant mothers go through this!

The first trimester of pregnancy is often considered the most trying for mothers-to-be. The body needs to deal with enormous physiological and hormonal changes, which mark the early stages of pregnancy. Most women experience fatigue, often accompanied by nausea. While they’re happy about what’s happening to them, some can at the same time be deeply disturbed by it.

Newly pregnant women find themselves very rapidly changing. They have a new responsibility, that of growing a baby inside of them. Will they be up to it? Let’s not forget: being pregnant isn’t only about the body, it’s also very much about the mind, considering all the psychological changes at work.  

A sometimes unhappy trimester…

“Some women feel under attack from all these body changes, while others stay unperturbed,” notes French psychologist Sylvie Tiné-Brissiau, who specializes in guiding couples through the pregnancy and postnatal periods. “If a pregnant woman has a hard time managing the frustration, accepting the fact that she can’t control everything and what’s going on inside of her, she’ll be more fragile. The first trimester is very ambivalent, as the pregnant woman’s body changes but fails to show visible signs of the transformation in process, which isn’t very gratifying. Another factor should be taken into account, and that’s the risk of miscarriage, which adds to her unconscious worries. Most couples wait until the third month of pregnancy to break the news. Over these first 12 weeks, the woman may be unwilling to invest herself fully in her pregnancy, especially if she’s already suffered a miscarriage,” she explains.

According to the psychologist, this anxiety can be compounded by the medical obligations surrounding pregnancy: regular scans, blood tests and in some cases amniocentesis are greatly relieving when everything is in order but normally doubts take over women before they take the exam, which can be difficult to bear.

From being a daughter to becoming a mother… yet unhappy?

All pregnant women must change their status and prepare themselves to become mothers. “The first pregnancy forces women to change sides, going from being their mothers’ daughters to being a mother themselves. This brings back memories of childhood and adolescence and comes with the realization that they need to manage this, to be willing to grow in maturity and change, to become more responsible.”

Rest assured that most women derive tremendous happiness from being pregnant once the first trimester has passed, after which psychological maturing continues as the baby grows and the woman becomes aware of certain things more gradually until childbirth.

Here’s some advice from the psychologist:

• Get all the rest you need, and put your feet up: indulge rather than overreach yourself;

• Share your concerns, talk about them to your partner and friends, especially those who already have children;

• Feel free to seek help from a psychologist if you feel that you need it. Usually, one or two sessions are enough to verbalise your anxieties, which will help you figure them out and, ultimately, overcome them.

Sophie Malyon

Copyright © 2010 Doctissimo

Posted 07.09.2010

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